Defenders

Bet you'll never guess whats going down. Defenders, thas right. So all the 1 person that might read this, strap your ass down, its bout to get nutty.

5. Kolo Toure - This black beauty is a gigantic homosex. He left Arsenal in order to get more money rather than play on a good team. Him and Adebayor are both gays and should yiff in hell. My anger aside, he is a great defender. He is massive, fast and very experienced. I don't want to talk about him anymore.

4. John Terry - The main man for Chelsea faithfuls as well as England stupid teeth's, John brings it big time. Mr. Terry isn't the fastest defender, but playing center back you don't need to be too fast, but what he is is very experienced and well practiced. He is a brick wall in the defense and is as consistent as mayonnaise (not sure if compliment?). He has the instinct of a mama bear and he protects the goal like its his cub.

3. Thomas Vermaelen - He's the new king pin in the back for Arsenal now that Toure and Gallas have both departed. In my opinion Vermaelen was the best signing of any EPL club last season. He stepped up big when he needs to, he is fast, strong, good in the air, and he is only going to get better. Playing for a team like Arsenal they have arguable the best development program in England, so if he isn't very experienced now he will get it in seasons to come.

2. Patrice Evra - This man is terrifying. If I saw him alone in a back alley I would kill myself. He is one of the fastest defenders, best offensive defenders, strongest, and smartest. He plays as if he is a midfielder but his defensive awareness is great. He was the captain for France, and with good reason. He is a great defender and everyone should have him on their fantasy teams.

1. Nemanja Vidic - This stone cold fox doesn't just break fierce looks to the back line, he also brings mad skills. With Ferdinand being iffy and having an unexperienced partner in the back (NOT A GAY JOKE) Vidic is going to have to pick up the slack this season, which he is more than capable of doing. He is fast, strong, and good in the air. If you think there is somebody better, you're stupid. /list